Self Sabotage

Do you ever SELF-SABOTAGE?

As much as I don't like to admit it...I have.

Do you engage in self-sabotaging behaviors?

Have you ever started working on a fitness goal, only to become derailed? In the end, did the experience leave you feeling frustrated? If the answer is yes, you wouldn’t be alone.

The truth is that many people set well-intentioned goals for health and fitness, but never quite make them a reality. In many cases, the reasons can be traced to self-sabotage; a term used to describe the dynamic where a person unintentionally sets themselves up for failure.

Here are some of the most common ways in which I have self sabotaged or seen others self- sabotage...

1. Not making fitness a priority

A major way you may be messing up your health goals is by not making fitness a priority. Life is always crazy and always busy. If you don't set time aside everyday or most days to work torward your goals, then you may be self-sabotaging. I advise clients to put their workouts/fitness in their calendar. This way it’s a non-negotiable part of their day. No one ever regrets a workout.

2. Thinking it will be easy

Identifying goals and reaching them are two different things. What can make or break achievement is how you view the goal itself.

If you think it will be easy, you may be setting yourself up for failure. People sabotage their fitness goals by assuming it’s going to be easy. Personal transformation, whether physical, emotional, or mental, takes time and effort – if it feels easy, it probably won’t result in much change. Be prepared to work hard in the gym, but also getting to the gym, sticking to routines, eating right, etc. If you’re hoping for an easy ride, you will be sorely disappointed, and more likely to drop out, when the going gets tough – and it will!

3. Not getting enough sleep

You probably know that sleep is important to your overall health. But did you know not getting enough rest can derail your fitness goals? Sleep is necessary to function, optimal health, and well-being. You need sleep to perform your best. It’s also an important part of the post-workout recovery after you train. When you work out, you are breaking down existing muscle fibers and tissues. The reason muscles become bigger is because they repair themselves while you sleep. Without enough sleep, your body won’t have time to repair itself and you could actually lose muscle mass.

4. Playing the game of comparisons

Do you compare your body to others? When you do this, does the experience leave you feeling crappy? If so, you aren’t alone. But here is the thing. When you play the game of comparisons, you throw a wrench into your fitness plans. Well-intentioned people sabotage their fitness goals by comparing themselves to others. At first, they are just happy to start working out and get healthy. But soon after, when they see someone with a slimmer body they get down on themselves. In the end, they lose sight of what’s important – which is to do their own best, enjoy the moment, and let the results come gradually over time.

5. Not getting enough support

Research shows that people are more likely to achieve a goal when they have ongoing support. An example might be to drop 25 pounds over the course of a year. That’s realistic, right? But if you don’t have support systems in place during the journey, you may never realize your dream. We need regular support from others, whether that is a coach, a friend, or spouse, to cheer us on, hold us accountable, and not shame us when we stumble. When we isolate, we may protect ourselves from feeling shame, but we also increase the chance we go into denial and give up. Change is an upward spiral, not a straight line up. Success and behavior change are built on the desire to win, with a bunch of small failures and recoveries along the way. With each minor failure, our strength grows. But if we are too rigid and don’t see change as constant process of upward movement, we tend to give up.

6. Fear of Success

Believe it or not, having a fear of success could be the thing lurking in the background that holds you back from achieving your goals. Many individuals trying to lose weight consciously or unconsciously self-sabotage. The reason for this is that even the most longed-for goals have a price. For example, losing weight may mean a healthier body and improved self-confidence, but it may also mean you cannot eat whatever you want anymore. It might mean a Saturday morning at the gym, as opposed to relaxing on the couch. Compounding this further is the fact that some individuals have long used their ‘weight’ as a personal barrier or shield. Many individuals losing weight are concerned how their weight loss will affect their current relationships.

7. Changing too much, too fast

This one probably is common sense, but is worth repeating. People sabotage their fitness goals by expecting to change too many things at one time. It’s important to start off slow. Just pick one or two things at a time to work on. Once those become easier, then consider adding and/or challenging yourself more.

8. Not staying committed

When you set a goal, it’s important to stay committed to the process. This requires ongoing, intentional focus. Without that focus you could get derailed quickly. People often create failure because of a lack of commitment. Have a plan written down for each day. Then affirm each day that it is your intention to follow it and achieve your goals. This allows your commitment to remain strong.

9. Getting bored

If you’ve been around fitness for any amount of time, you’ve probably heard that it’s important to occasionally change things up.The reason is simple. If you get bored with a routine, your motivation will likely diminish. When you keep doing the same workouts without adding variety or making it more challenging, it’s a recipe for failure.

10. Not properly fueling your body

If your goal is to lose weight and pack on muscle, it’s important to look at food as medicine. But if you don’t take the right approach in this area, it could throw you off track. One of the biggest ways in which people sabotage their fitness goals is through an unhealthy or inappropriate diet. Or what I like to call "quick fix" diets. Find a plan that is balanced and sustainable. You do not need to starve yourself or limit food groups to get great results.

What have I done to help overcome the "self-sabotage mode" I have found myself in???

- I had deepen my walk with God. I had to start believing deep down that if God could move mountains, then he certainly could heal me from this behavior.

- I had to seek help. I had to get to the root and be willing to look at the trauma in my life so I could start to heal on greater level. A lot of my self-sabotage behaviors have stemmed from past trauma.

- I had to lean into my friends for support. I cannot imagine where'd I'd be without them encouraging me, praying for me, and cheering me on.

- I had to be willing to be uncomfortable A LOT and act "as if" until I was able to more naturally show up as the woman God says I am.

- I have had to practice a ton of patience through this process. I did not heal overnight. I am always a work in progress. I am more okay with that these days because I realize it has helped me build a tremendous amount of strength.

I know this was kind of a heavy post, but I was feeling moved to share. My hope is that it may help someone else.

Cheers to healing, peace, and love. YOU ARE A WARRIOR!!!