Rewrite Your Story: Erasing “I Can’t” from Your Inner Script
Joan of Arc, a 15th century heroine and inspiring leader, once said, “All battles are first won or lost, in the mind.” Our mind is the biggest battlefield when it comes to our actions, and it can either help us or hinder us, depending on what we fill it with.
I’m sure you’re familiar with the placebo effect, a phenomenon that happens when a person can feel different after taking a placebo - a fake pill or substance. Simply by believing the placebo is real, they experience real changes in their state of being. There are other such instances of the brain “filling in” information that isn’t actually there, such as phantom limb pain, taste perception, and the nocebo effect.
Our minds are incredibly powerful, and they inform much more of our lives than we may even realize.
The One Phrase that Poisons Your Mindset
Our beliefs, actions, and our identity all originate from our mind. What we fill it with, what we focus on, and how we talk to ourselves all play into the type of person that we become.
I always encourage my coaches and clients to take an inventory of their internal vocabulary and discard anything that doesn’t serve them. In particular, I ask them to eliminate one small phrase: “I can’t.” These two very small words can be the biggest obstacle to your success.
Why?
Because by believing it’s impossible, you will either not even try, or you will self-sabotage by failing on a subconscious level in order to confirm what you already believe to be true. Read that again: by believing it’s impossible, you will either not even try, or you will self-sabotage by failing on a subconscious level in order to confirm what you already believe to be true.
It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy: When I believe I can't, I'll behave as if it's true, which ultimately leads to failure and confirms my initial belief: I can't.
If you believe you can’t help yourself around sugar or junk food, what’s the point in trying to avoid it?
If you believe you can’t get to bed at a decent hour because you’re a night owl, why would you bother going through the work of setting up bedtime routines?
If you believe you aren’t very strong, why would you even try to increase the weight of your lifts?
Now that you understand how much this one simple phrase can impact your entire life, let’s talk about how to break out of that cycle of self-sabotage and find out what you’re actually capable of!
Put it Into Action: Erasing “I Can’t” from Your Inner Script
Before you can make any changes, you first have to be aware of what you’re changing! This means your first assignment is to take an inventory of your internal dialogue, specifically be on the lookout for any time you say “I can’t!”
Once you catch yourself saying it, try and reframe the statement without using that phrase.
I’ll give you an example. I’ve never been a morning person, and as a result I’ve always preferred to work out in the afternoons or evenings. After having kids and starting my business, my schedule shifted and it became increasingly difficult to fit my workouts in later in the day. Even so, I still wouldn’t get up in the mornings because “I can’t get up that early, I’m just not a morning person!”
Eventually I realized that if I didn’t work out early in the morning, then it most likely wouldn’t happen at all. I thought of all the incredible people I have helped over the years who have gotten up early to work out, and something clicked in me: the only thing stopping me from getting up earlier was myself and my “I can’t” attitude.
I stopped making excuses, I did what I needed to do in order to get to bed an extra 30 minutes earlier, and I started getting up and working out first thing in the morning. And the thing is, I love it! Not only am I able to stay consistent with my workouts, but I absolutely love how I feel after I complete an early morning workout. It sets my tone for the whole day, and makes me feel strong and accomplished right off the bat!
Here are some more examples to get you thinking about how you can erase the phrase “I can’t” from your inner script:
Instead of saying… I can’t make myself get up in the morning!
Say this: Getting up in the morning is hard for me. But I CAN work on controlling things that make it easier, like getting to bed on time, limiting my alcohol intake to get better sleep, or setting my alarm across the room to force me out of bed.
Instead of saying… I just can’t help myself when there’s treats in the house!
Say this: I have a hard time controlling my impulses around food, but I can give myself better options to choose from when I’m craving something that doesn’t serve my body.
Instead of saying… I can’t stay consistent!
Say this: Consistency doesn’t come easily, but every time I miss a day, I can choose to get right back on track.
Now, I have two very important disclaimers for you:
I’m not telling you to be delusional about your limits
I’m not telling you to embrace toxic positivity.
There are certain things in this reality that I actually CAN’T do. I CAN’T fly like Superman. I CAN’T do my husband’s job for him. I CAN’T breathe underwater. I CAN’T go out and run a marathon tomorrow. If I refused to recognize my limits in those areas, I would most likely not survive! So please; know your limits and exercise your own common sense for your own safety.
Secondly, I am NOT promoting toxic positivity. Toxic positivity is rooted in denial. Toxic positivity ignores the difficulties and shoves them under a rug while trying to cover it up with bland platitudes like, “I just have to work harder!” “No pain, no gain!” “There’s always a silver lining!” “Just be positive!”
Go back and read the alternative phrases I provided above. (Go ahead, I’ll give you a minute).
If you notice, they don’t simply replace “I can’t” with “I can.”
“I can’t make myself get up in the morning!” doesn’t become “I can make myself get up in the morning! I just have to try harder!” This isn’t actually helpful and can only worsen your self-image if you continue to struggle. More often than not, the answer is not simply more will-power. The answer is a different strategy that is a better fit for you and your lifestyle!
Change Your Script, Change Your Life
What you repeat to yourself is what you believe, and what you believe is how you act. Your actions shape your life and your world around you. It’s only logical that by changing your internal script, you can begin to change your life! Begin by paying attention to areas where you tell yourself you can’t. Then, evaluate it: is that true? Or is that just what you’ve chosen to believe? Can you frame that thought differently that might help you actually accomplish what you’ve believed to be impossible? Try it out, and you might be surprised at just how strong, free, and capable you already are!
Feel stuck? Join our program to jumpstart your transformation!
Our 6 Week Feel Good program is a BRAND new program designed just for you! You’ll get:
daily support
custom meal plans
weekly calls
app access with custom workouts
mindset support
And MORE all with no long-term commitment. Don’t wait; invest in yourself now before it’s too late!
