How To Turn Self-Sabotage Into Self-Love
3 Ways to Pivot Your Perspective
One of the things I talk about with my clients on a regular basis is the idea of self-sabotage. Oftentimes, our biggest obstacle between us and our goal is, well, us. Whether it’s through negative patterns of thinking, flawed motivations, or just setting ourselves up for failure, one of the biggest obstacles why people don’t reach their fitness and health goals is themselves.
That’s why working alongside a coach at Warrior Fit can be so transformative. We not only give you practical tools to use in your everyday life, but we help tear down the obstacles that you place in front of yourself so that you’re set up for success.
Now, a lot of people don’t even realize what self-sabotage looks like. It can be subtle, or just so ingrained in our lives that we don’t even recognize it as negative. Here are three ways in which I have a tendency to self-sabotage, and what I do instead to replace that with self-love.
3 ways in which I self-sabotaged (and what I do instead)
1. I self-sabotaged by using insults to “motivate” me to workout.
I used to do this all the time. I’d look in the mirror, pinch my “problem” areas, and tell myself I’d better get in shape, literally! I’d put so much negative pressure on myself to workout, that when I didn’t fit in a workout, I would beat myself up even more! It was such a negative cycle, and not at all motivating me to actually get to the gym.
Now, I view working out as a form of self-love!
I no longer workout to punish myself, I workout to take care of myself. To love myself. To push myself to be stronger and more resilient because I know that that will serve me in the long run. Working out is a blessing, NOT a punishment!
2. I self-sabotaged by adopting a deprivation mindset when it came to food.
I would be so completely wrapped up in all the things I had to avoid out of FEAR that it would ruin my progress. I sweated over ten extra calories. I lost sleep over how many slices of bread I’d had that day. I would starve myself the next day to “make up” for my mistakes the previous day, which would only lead to binge-eating on the weekends!
Now, I view food as fuel!
I choose to fuel my body with healthy, filling foods that I know will make me feel better, because I not only deserve food, I need food! I don’t have to workout in order to earn food, I need food in order to move and accomplish what I want in a day! I fuel my body because I LOVE my body. I don’t deprive my body out of fear anymore.
3. Lastly, I self-sabotaged by having an “all or nothing” mindset.
When January 1st came around (or Monday, or after the holiday, or after the vacation, etc…), I would try to do everything all at once: all new recipes, all new workouts, all new schedule… I had an all or nothing mindset! It was exhausting to try to juggle it all, but once I made a tiny mistake, everything would crumble and I would be left with nothing.
Now, I build small habits that accumulate over a long period of time!
I no longer feel like I have to change who I am in order to change how I am. I find ways to win in the life that fits me.
If you resonated with any one (or multiple!) of these, that’s a sign we need to chat! I would love to help you reframe your self-sabotaging mindset into a healthy, positive mindset centered in self-love.
If you’re having trouble figuring out how to stop your own versions of self-sabotage, let me give you a more general piece of advice that you can take and apply today to virtually any area of self-sabotage:
All patterns of self-sabotage can be traced back to a limiting belief.
Real, true transformation starts from the inside. You won’t be able to change those self-defeating behaviors until you address the limiting beliefs from which they stem.
How do you do that, exactly? You fight the lies with the truth, and that means…
Positive Affirmations!
By actively confronting the lies that you tell yourself, you will be able to literally rewrite your own brain! And where your mind is, the rest of you will follow. Are you ready? Here we go!
Step one: Identify Your Limiting Beliefs.
Whether you view workouts as a punishment or just don’t think that you’ll ever succeed, the first thing you have to do is pay attention to your inner thoughts and identify these negative, limiting beliefs.
Step Two: Confront the Lies With the Truth.
This is easier said than done, but it’s so important! When you notice those limiting beliefs creeping in, stop what you’re doing and intentionally replace it with a true, positive affirmation. Here are some examples for you to try this week:
“I can never get my s*** together!!”
Limiting belief: I’m a failure.
Positive affirmation: Failure isn’t evil and it doesn’t define me. I am strong and I will carry on.
“I don’t have time to eat right!”
Limiting belief: I’m a slave to my schedule.
Positive affirmation: I have control over how I spend my time.
“I ate a donut for breakfast, so I should just skip lunch.”
Limiting belief: I have to punish my body for my food choices.
Positive affirmation: My body deserves and needs fuel. I can choose to fuel it well.
It will feel strange at first. It will feel counter-intuitive. But once you start to realize just how many negative thoughts are holding you down, you’ll begin to see that YOU are capable of soaring so much higher!
I hope this helped encourage and empower you this week. Don’t forget to check back for more content, and find me on Facebook and Instagram – I’d love to connect with you!
